We plan for all of the things that we want to happen. We plan for what we think we should be, or how the perfect day goes. But what about when things go off the rails? What about when they go off the rails the same way, and at kind of predictable times? It is really tempting to plan our scheduled around those rosy, perfect days, when in reality we should be planning for the inevitable.

Ok, so what am I considering “inevitable” here anyways? Are we going to start taking about the apocalypse here?

I don’t so much mean End of Days here as I mean End of Your Day and the Toddler is Screaming and Dinner is Still Frozen and What the !@?% Just Squished Between My Toes???

When are things kind of predictably falling apart in your week? This can be literally anything. All I am suggesting here is that you kind of let this idea rattle around in the back of your mind for a little while and start noticing patterns if you can.

Once you have identified a time/scenario where things are more likely to go wrong, take a minute and think about what would make them better in the future. (Think NICELY to yourself about this. If I catch you going “Well if I could just stop being a lazy slob and put away the laundry, then I wouldn’t be rushing out the door late because I couldn’t find any pants!”, then we are going to have problems here. We are doing Future You a favor here, not bullying Past You.)

Here are a few examples of mine, and how small changes made a big difference.

Here’s one that only took a small change to have a good impact; packing indestructible snacks. So I have a kid who gets seriously hangry. When they were small I would of course pack snacks when I knew that we would be out for long enough. Sometimes though, things don’t go to plan. You’re out longer, they are hungrier than usual, whatever it was I would have a kid who was falling apart. So I found a few small snacks that could kick around in the bottom of my bag without being dust when I needed them.

Having just that much to tide them over until we got home saved the day so many times, and I stopped kicking myself for not packing more food (that I had no way of knowing I would need).

Here’s another tiny one. A few years ago, we had a day of the week where we were fairly likely for have a field trip or another homeschool event. The kids also had an after school activity that evening. On it’s own that meant that I needed to have dinner ready much earlier than usual. Add in a busy day out of the house, and I kept getting home exhausted and often out of time for what I had planned to make for dinner.

After a few months of just resolving to get home on time and jump straight into making dinner in my barely adequate time frame, I finally decided to try something different. Thursday became slow cooker day. I tossed something in before we left, and sat down for a few minutes between activities. So simple!

Maybe you are great at systems or planning ahead and are wondering why on earth this is such a big deal. Personally for me I think it is ADHD related. One part is that everyone else seems to be doing it this way and managing just fine, so I should be able to as well. The other part is probably the fact that when you are undiagnosed, the answer is always to keep doing it how everyone else is doing it, just try harder haha! So it kind of skews my perception of what I can reasonably achieve and when I should look outside of the box and try something different.

It has taken me a few years to learn to take a step back from all kinds of situations and really look at if they are working or not. I have finally learned that it is completely fine to do things differently than other people if that is what works for me, instead of getting stuck in random self imposed systems.

I think that most people could find a few of these scenarios in their days though. You probably don’t even have to try to picture yours. What’s running through your head right now, “Why can’t I get myself out the door with enough time to eat breakfast”?

Other than that, is your morning routine working? Because if so, maybe it’s ok that you eat on your way if that means that you eat. Maybe that will look like you being super prepared and stocking the fridge with pre-made breakfasts every week. (Bet you are hoping it’s this one!) What if that just isn’t happening though? Could you let go of the idea? Would it really be that bad if you bought freezer boxes of breakfast wraps if that was what it took? What if you kept boxes of granola bars and apple sauce in your car?

Would you be willing to let go of the idea of some perfect version of you who does everything the “correct” way? What if you could be a less stressed version of just regular you, and get stuff done? If I am being completely honest, I wasted a lot of time fighting for no reason to be Perfect Kathryn who does everything The Correct Way. I did not enjoy it, and I did not get as much done as I do now with lower standards.

I don’t know what the cheat codes are in your life to make things easier, but I sincerely hope you are looking for them. Let me know what tiny change has made the biggest difference in your life. I am always curious about other people’s routines!

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