A week ago a dear friend passed away, after a long illness. It felt strangely sudden, despite being expected. She was one of those people that just radiated warmth and kindness. The idea that someone who practically shone with life could just not be here anymore feels like it must be impossible.

Talking with other friends that she impacted over this past week has made me think. What will people say about us one day? What traits will be remembered first? How will we have made things different?

My friend was, at first glance, a quiet person. She had an openness and a warmth that drew people to her though. With your first conversation, you were someone who mattered to her. She listened intentionally, and wasn’t afraid to open up and be vulnerable. You felt at once that it was safe for you to be vulnerable too. I am a better listener because she listened to me.

She had a profound respect for children. She had what seemed like an endless well of patience, and guided them with calm and kindness. She made spaces for them to truly be children, in a way that is hard to accomplish in our modern world. Best of all, she invited us and our children in to join that world. We had a chance to learn from each other and build a community. I am a better parent because of her.

There was still a bit of wonder about her, like she wouldn’t have been surprised to find that there was still magic in the world. She made everything from a forest to the smallest bit of green seem full of possibility. We learned to slow down and really look at this beautiful world that we live in, marveling in the changes brought on by the seasons. Plants from her garden were shared freely, as was a seat around the campfire. My garden has plants that came from hers, and I have learned to really look for the magic that grows all around us.

I am sure that more substantial accomplishments will grace an obituary somewhere, but these are the pieces of herself that she left in me. She planted seeds in my children’s lives that will grow with them as well. When we think of whether we have “done something” with our lives, I think that we think of the wrong things. I hope I can live my life as intentionally as she did one day.

For now though… goodbye my friend. There is so much more love in the world because you were here.